so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize