I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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