Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
