I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You ruined the universe
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
