i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
