Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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