Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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