a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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