my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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