Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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