Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
