i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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