I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
