Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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