Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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