i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
