So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
