NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
