oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
