How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
