Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
