How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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