Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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