At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
