Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize