You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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