his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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