Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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