wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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