You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Randomize
