Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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