Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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