we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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