it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
