Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize