And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
