He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
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around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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