It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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