I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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