Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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