bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
