if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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