my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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