I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize