Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize