my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
