I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
