You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
