So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
