Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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