the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
