getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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