I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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