I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
