My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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