No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
