I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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