Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
