I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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