she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
